Saturday, March 30, 2013

Funny answers to funny questions in Australia

Some helpful yet funny answers to general questions in and about Australia.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK): A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA): A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden): A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK): A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA): A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA): A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK): A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA): A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France): A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA): A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK): A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy): A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France): A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany): A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany): A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA): A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.(USA): A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA): A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA): A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Hi, planning on Studying in Australia? Why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Map of Australian territories or states

Australia is not an island - K. Rudd, 2008

Immigrating to australia? - a real map

Map of Australia for immigrants

speaks for itself

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Is Australia a good place for Indians to migrate?

In 2011-12 people of Indian nationality became the largest group of permanent migrants to Australia and formed 15.7% of the total migration population. Australia's Indian population has is the fastest growing population in the country in 2008-2009 - it has increased by 44,012 which is 17%
DNA studies have even found that indians may have been coming t Australia as much as 4000 years ago.

In 2009 there were 120 000 indians studying at Australian tertiary institutions and Australia has become the place to study and is a popular choice over the USA and the UK.

In 2009 there was also a lot of reports in the Media of Australian racism against indians in the form of robberies and violence. This resulted in mass protests and public awareness.

The size of the Indian poplation in Australia is now only second to the Chinese. (Excluding European)

There was a time when Australia had a "white only" immigration policy, but when this was cleared away indians soon took up the opportunity to immigrate to Australia.

Experiences

From researching with various connections, Many Indians find Australian culture to be very shallow.

They find themselves disconnected and isolated, finding it very difficult to let go of their "great past" but have to because no-one in Australia is interested in their Indian-ness. Many Indians find living in Australia to be very bland. (and we are not talking food here :) )

Australia is promoted like mad, but its not India and is highly regulated - Many indians find it hard to fit into the 9-5 working lifestyle.

Some find Australia to be very negative towards entrepreneurship and lacking in vision and drive.
Even though many indians feel like Australia is clean and neat, they find that very neatness to be stifling, They feel like aliens and are unable to broaden their horizons. Many indians feel that in order to be themselves they need to return to India.

I had to laugh when one person described Australia as a Dumb blonde.

Many many Indians come to Australia, but leave again, this seems to be a pattern that is similiar to any immigrant who is missing the familiarity and culture of home.

Another Indian gent describes Australia as a mix of arses and good people like anywhere else- He also said its like a slightly backward clone of the UK but with a warm climate. "Australians don't want to be multicultural, they want you to come over and become Australian (or bugger orf mate)"

It does seem that Melbourne is the favourite City for Indians immigrating to Australia. Some Indian guy commented recently that he prefers it over New york city.

In conclusion it looks like Australia oin the whole is a good place to go and study and broaden ones horizons and for thos willing to work and push their way through the glass ceilings, then there is a huge future with a lot of opportunity.

If you are looking for a awesome, cheap international money transfer company go here.

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Unhappy in Australia? Suffering immigration depression?

I thought I would collate some facts about general unhappiness of immigrants after their move to Australia.

One Lady I know of had a huge job in her country of origin and could not get hat same job in Australia and had to take some really difficult jobs when she arrived. I know that now she just does some cleaning jobs and that they are struggling to get by on a combined married income of $90 000 per annum. This is useless feeling is combined with missing friends and family. not good.

As a South African I know from some recently published stats that almost 8.8% of South Africans that come to Australia leave.
Thats almost one in ten. It looks like even a beautiful adevertized country like Australia can be pretty awful to many immigrants.

I guess happiness in Australia depends on a large universe of factors. Making friends, money, family ties, emotional attachments, schooling and so on.

A lot of immigrants that do leave Australia leave because the are on a 457 visa and their jobs end - This just means they could not get an extension.

A lot of people who immigrate to Australia have to take a step down in their living standards - jobs pay less- no flashy cars and hence this really has an emotional affect. It helps to prepare yourself before you come over to Australia. Of course some people quite understandably just can't do this and their immigration fails. People get caught up in the "holiday" aspect of the move - the removals, the visa, the research, but they do not prepare themselves at all mentally and emotionally for the big change.

One recurring theme is that people struggle to find jobs that they are used to in Australia. They have to work in lower positions for less money. Some people take up to two years to find work - dwindling cash reserves, family issues, these all take their toll. It looks like if you can get past your first 4 years you should be ok.

Another Factor is the big City pull. Some people move to Sydney and because it is so expensive and vast it is difficult to integrate and get by financially. Some have settled in small cities and towns and found the experience to be much more positive.

For some people its just so bad in their home countries that settling in Australia is the only option. They just bear the hardship, the tears and frugality.

Whatever your reasons - please prepare yourself for your move to Australia. its much more than just sunny skies and beaches and clean cities. You have to life "life" here just like anywhere else.

Later people and best wishes whatever your decisions !!

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

What is the worst suburb in Sydney, Australia?

Hi peeps,

Some say Parammata, some contenders are CampbellTown, others point to affluent areas.

Whats your beef?

Leave your comments (dont be too rude) here and we will come up with a winner.

Some names to mention have been Sutherland, Marrickville and Springwood.

Yet others say the whole of Sydney is a Glittering Whore with no soul at all. Looking good from a distance but nothing to see up close.

later all

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Cheapest most affordable places to live in Sydney

Cheapest most affordable places to live in Sydney

North of the bridge is expensive, so cut that all out now! - unless you go two hours North, and forget the beaches, Really forget them.

Rentals in the South west around East Hills or in the Rockdale area go from around au $400 to au $800 a week. (Still not cheap).

Parramatta to Penrith to the West has some really cheap places.

If you go past Pendle hill its even cheaper, but you get what you pay for. It becomes rougher.
Blacktown rentals for three bedroom houses are $300-$400 per week.

Places Like Kensington, Kingsford, Randwick and Maroubra are inexpensive and safe-ish. These are also close to a university These are about 20 minutes bus ride to Sydney central and for a bonus they arere close to the beach! Rooms go for $150 per week and three bedroom places$450.

Generally, sticking close to the universities and getting student places is cheapish.

Really, Really cheap is the St Mary's area. There are apartments to purchase at about $130,000 and
some houses for $200,000. Rentals for flats $120 and houses about $150. The commute is longer to Sydney - about 40 minutes by train.

Bankstown, Cabramatta and Redfern are all harder cheaper suburbs. Redfern is cheaper due to some crime. Even cheaper is further to Croyden and Burwood.

Later people - if you can lower your standards for a bit you will be able to survive your move to Sydney - especially if you are on a tight budget!!

If you are looking for a cheap place to stay, try looking here for a accommodation booking

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Good and bad places to live in Sydney, NSW

Been seeing some pretty inaccurate information about Sydney, so decided to put together some info about the different areas to live in Sydney, and their advantages and disadvantages.

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If you are on your way into Sydney and need some temporary accommodation just use booking.com, I found them to be the best of all the millions of sites out there.

Well off, rich areas are in the Eastern and Northern suburbs as are some of the Southern suburbs. The poorer areas are the further south west you go. Although there are some really nice areas.

The eastern suburbs, the coastal areas between the CBD and the beach, and on the CBD side of the bridge, are the most expensive. Anything on the water or near the water. Areas alongside the harbour, like Watsons Bay, Vaucluse, Double Bay, Elizabeth Bay, are especially expensive. These a beautiful places to live, but opnly of you have serious money. Renting 2 bedroom flats will here will get you a 5 bedroom house half an hour inland. Beach side Bondi is a bit over-rated for the price, though I have lived there and enjoyed it.

Lots of eclectic cafes, a good place to brunch on a Sunday.

In addition, areas like Bronte, Coogee Beach, Maroubra and the beach suburbs going south of Bondi, are nice places to live. Something to keep in mind though is that the rail/train service terminates at Bondi Junction. So if working in the CBD and wanting to take public transport (the sensible choice, because parking in the city is terrible and expensive), you would get a bus from the beachside suburbs and then the train from Bondi Junction. Your journey can become quite long for a short distance.

The Northern suburbs, especially between the Pacific Highway and the sea, are really nice. They are still very expensive as everyone wants to live close to the ocean. On the ocean side, Manly(very expensive) has good transport links (ferry, and buses as a back up in case fog closes down the ferry) but going North, through Dee Why and on up to Palm beach, if you have to commute from there, that means driving, and it is a seriously long haul from there, in the rush hour, to get to the CBD. You can take buses though and this will set you back an hours journey each way.

St Ives,

is one of the best places to live in Sydney. I lived there for a while. I have often thought that we picked the best suburb in Sydney when we arrived. Read about my experience in St Ives here:

Straight North, areas like Turramurra and Warringal are expensive but bushy with trees and forest style compared to in closer to the city. On a direct line west from Turramurra, about 15 or 20km west, is Castle Hill which has good quality big houses. There are several areas around there that are really live-able but stay away from the train tracks. Lane Cove is great - picturesque and nice to walk in, especially for picnics down by the Lane Cove River. Well known for its fires though when the summer heat is simmering and the woods are dry as hell.

Going west from the city, the Parramatta Road is a horrible drive if you have to commute to the city each day. If you are living out that way, it's better to catch a train in. Strathfield is very nice, as is Burwood, and close to good schools, private and state.

Coming closer into the city, Dulwich Hill/parts of Canterbury, Lakemba tend to be where a lot of middle eastern families live. There is a large main mosque is in Lakemba. Marrickville is quite Chinese/Vietnamese.

To the south west of the city you have areas like Campbelltown, Liverpool, Cabramatta, and directly west of the city, far beyond Parramatta, you get to Penrith, and then to Emu Plains which is at the foot of the Blue Mountains. These areas have cheap smallish housing, but this is suburbia with a capital S. In summer these areas are seriously hot, as in 40 degrees C, schooling is very so so, - just dull and boring. And far from the sea. There are lots of really poor areas with 2 bedroom flats going for $300 a week. Things are not really great though in the cheaper areas for families.

On the south side, Cronulla has a great beach and very good train links into the city. Brighton is nice too. Coming back towards the city, I wouldn't live somewhere like Petersham or Alexandria though - small terrace houses and right underneath the flight path for Sydney airport.

Redfern is not such a good area to live. It has a large population of Aborigines and they can get fairly tanked up on the booze. I wouldn't as a lone woman, get off and walk from Redfern station at night. Likewise from central station. Inner city, they may both be, but not such a good walk to and from the city. They remind me of somewhere like Hulme in Manchester or Muirhouse here in Edinburgh.

Avoid Kings Cross and Darlinghurst. These are inner city but on the east side, and are the red light districts.

If you fancy the inner city on the east side, Paddington is a lovely area to live, though a bit pricey and not really value for money. Just up from Paddington, Woollahra is very nice - lots of good antique shops there. Both have good bus links into the city.

On the inner west side, good parts of town is Balmain. Great cafes, good transport links (ferry and bus) to town. If you fancy the ferry, my advice is to live down at the point, near the main terminus, and not on the west side near the Thamse street stop. The west side ferries don't always turn up. Going back towards the city, Rozelle is okay, but not as nice as Balmain - small rubbishy houses.

Pyrmont and Ultimo are quite towny and grey, basically converted or redeveloped factories. Ultimo flats were ok but didn't have good air flow an no nice parks nearby. Not a very nice walk into town.

Going away again, along Parramatta Road, Glebe is a nice place to live. Opposite Sydney University, so well situated if you want to study. Good cafes.

Right in the city, I always fancied living in The Rocks (the area underneath Sydney Harbour Bridge. Good night life but a bit hairy if walking home alone at night.

Some info I researched for you peeps. Have a good one

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Friday, March 29, 2013

Guest posting on this blog now open.

Hi,

I would genuinely like to add your opinions and expertize about immigrating to Australia.

Anything Goes people as long as its about Australia,.

Typical topics are;

schooling
living conditions
social conditions
racial issues
employment
good and bad places to live
entertainment
real life stories
tragedies
hates
loves
weather
disaster
moving
visa's
living costs
and so on

Give it a go - make it as long as possible and hopefully as helpful as possible.

Posts will be checked for "spinning" and unique-ness. Please make sure you spell check it and do your best grammatically.

Please send in your posts to sydneybybyron@outlook.com

Hi, Immigrating to Australia?, why not use our community forum - all about living, working, playing, moving and studying in Australia.

How I got my visa, Life, Lumps and spirit, Hate your new country? Your not alone! A good Furniture Rental company in Sydney,Why do immigrants leave Australia?, Sydney - Scotland island - hidden gem, Malls in Sydney, Living in St Ives, Arriving in Sydney, Driving through Sydney - first day, How expensive is Sydney

Immigrating to Sydney